It's Summer in Phoenix!
How hot is it?
Ok. So we go through this every year here in the Valley of the Sun. When everybody else is sniveling about the snow in January, or March, or April, We are basking in some of the country's best weather, We do have to pay for it in the summertime when the mercury approaches the temperature of the planet it's named after. In honor of these intemperate climes, we are listing here some of our favorite "How hot is it?" jokes:
It's so hot, the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot, farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot, you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It's so hot, I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they were both walking.
It's so hot, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
It's so hot, you can make instant sun tea.
It's so hot, you see lizards carrying a leaf to put under their tail when they sit down.
It's so hot, the bird feeders are clogged with puffed wheat and popped corn.
It's so hot, hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot, you can attend any function in shorts and a tank top.
It's so hot, you can get sunburned through your car window.
It's so hot, parents are heard to say, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, because I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
It's so hot, the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
It's so hot, you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot, I found a tick on a catfish.
It's so hot, I saw two trees fighting over the same dog.
It's so hot, you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
And so it goes!